Hope or Damnation
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| (Image Information: Image by Sharmain Monticalbo) |
Deep in the center of a lush and exotic jungle was the stone and clay ruins of a once-magnificent kingdom where its people thrived, but now, it is has been consumed by the surrounding wildlife. A small light beige macaque monkey swung from tree to tree and often went through the ancient kingdom's remains.
Perched atop a high hanging branch, the little monkey peered down at the fallen kingdom. Unbeknownst to the creature, something pulled him to this exact spot. Maybe it was the scent of fresh rainfall, or possibly it was the sweet, juicy mangoes, which grow from these trees. This day was unlike the other peaceful ones. A loud, ring was heard, and the monkey turned about in confusion for the location of the sound.
For the branch, the monkey sat on not only allowed him overlooked the ruins, but he spotted a white building a short distance away on a hill. Though the animals had no concept of time, the monkey knew this structure hadn't been there for long. He climbed closer and noticed at the top of there was a large, odd-shaped metallic object creating the repeated noise, which soon stopped. People. Humans herded past the front, white doors. Now, humans weren't uncommon to the monkey. Some were nice and feed dates and other fruits.
Pulsing pain surged through the monkey's head. Then this odd sensation tingled at the nerves in his small mind as though something or someone needed to be heard.
Here. Home. Long ago.
Animals, and specifically monkeys, had no concept of words, but somehow, the meaning of the words was translated, into conceivable and understandable urges. Though, it hadn't hindered the sharp pains.
Remember. Me. Remember.
His small monkey palms pounded against his forehead. Pain. Stop. Why was this happening? Desire to have an identity and self-communication flooded his body. Why couldn't he remember? Who was he? What was he?
Me...not monkey, he thought, Me... Me...
The monkey's fists gripped and pulled down his tiny pointed ears. Something or someone knawed at the monkey's mind and begged to be remembered.
After a few moments of beating his skull, the monkey recalled the images of an enormous palace filled with luxurious and expensive possessions. He noticed a gorgeous woman dressed in long, black garbs with an angered expression on her face. She shouted, but the words weren't understandable, and green mist left her palms. Then he looked straight at a young man's face. His rich, dark skin and deep brown eyes struck a chord within the creature. It was a reflection.
Me. That is monkey. No, the monkey shouted into his mind, not animal. Human. Name is...
He shut his eyes to the world and concentrated.
... Ramil. Prince of Battuka.
The monkey prince's mental fight proved to be short-lived. Soon, Ramil caught sight of ripe mango dangling from a branch a couple of trees away. Within seconds, he transitioned back to his animalistic behaviors and made odd noises on his way to the fruit. Thick, sticky juicy covered the monkey prince's lips as he messily ate the mango.
However, Ramil's pleasure from the fruit hadn't lasted long because he found a breath of fresh air dressed in peach.
A young woman stepped out of the structure and held a book tight to her chest. Her long, brunette hair blew in the wind. Something stirred inside the monkey prince. Excitement. Passion. Heat. This strange sensation of warmth started at the center of his chest. He hadn't experienced these emotions in so long.
Salvation.
Authors Notes:
Hey Rachel! I really enjoy your writing style. You do a good job of really setting the scene for what is happening and where the story takes place. The monkey having that like existential crisis was also well done, I was not able to tell where you were gonna take it. At first I thought maybe something was communicating directly to the monkey's mind, but it was just his own thoughts! Also just one small thing, I think your second paragraph's second sentence is incomplete. Overall, good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Rachel! This was a really creepy story - I think you definitely could have gone darker, but it was still pretty ominous, especially when the monkey started to remember his past self. You did a good job pacing the big reveal and the flashback. There were a few issues with verb tenses in the story, as sometimes you would switch between past and present in the same sentence. Otherwise, good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Rachel! I think your writing style is beautiful, it really helps the reader visualize the story and its details so clearly. After reading your story, I wanted to read more! Your author's note was very helpful in understanding the story and seeing how you made the story into your own. I love how the monkey keeps having flashbacks of its human life in short phrases and words that he can somehow understand.
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