Comment Wall

Thank you for reading my storybook. I hope you enjoyed the story. Thoughtful and Constructive Criticism is appreciated!

And here's a link to my storybook project if you haven't seen it.


(Image Information: Image by Maria Rosenberg)

Please leave comments below! Thank you!

Comments

  1. Hi! I think your introduction is excellent which reveals an amazing story! In this introduction, you have mentioned some brief structure and information about your plots. Which is a really good tool for me to get prepared for the following stories. Also, you set several characters who own different backgrounds in your intro. I am very curious about why Serene Anker chooses to become a killer at night. Would you explain this part latter? Also, would you explain why someone (the cloaked man) hired her to kill the prince?

    Like I mentioned before, there are lots of potential plots in your introduction. If you would talk about some of them in the following stories, I think the storybook would be impressive.

    Then, I realized that you mentioned several story elements in your intro. This is a really good tool for you to show some of your ideas about the storybook! I think that the information in this part would give readers more connections between readers and the author.

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  2. Hey! I really like the layout of your website so far. The title 'Shadows of Blood and Destiny' is very intriguing and makes me want to dive into the story. Also, I think your use contrasting white with dark definitely pairs well for your website layout considering you have 'shadows' in the title. I was wondering why you picked the home page image, but I'm guessing that is something I will have to read more to find out about. I really like the image on the introduction page, as it does look like a modern little mermaid statue. As for the introduction itself, I had a great time reading it. I love how you took the classic little mermaid story and put an assassin twist to it. I think that will make for a really fun read once your stories are complete. Great job with everything so far, I'm looking forward to reading more!

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  3. Hi, Rachel! First off, I love your layout and the vibe of your theme. It's easy and doesn't strain the eyes, and I feel that's important if we'll be reading your stories on it. I'm also hooked on your premise of reinventing the "Little Mermaid" fairy tale. Now I'm curious -- you say that Harth will be a better version than the men who stole the skins and forced marriage on mystical, feminine creatures. Will he be a contrast to the father? I'm getting vibes that her dad forced Serene's mother into marriage. Or is that a spoiler? I'm also interested in the Celtic folklore you'll be including. Will they just be the creatures, or will you be researching culture and settings as well? This story really has a romantic feel to it, but also with action elements as Serene is undercover in the palace. Do you feel the stories will be heavier on the romance element or the action? Can't wait to read more!

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  4. Hello Rachel! I Love your project so far! It is so warm and inviting once you first view your page, and that is so important. I think it is super cool that you already have such a good grasp on how you want your project to be. The idea of changing the location of the story is interesting and I am eager to know how you will make that transition. I look forward to reading your progress as the semester continues. Have a great day!

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  5. Hi Rachel! I love the way you set up your storybook, especially the fact that there's a clear connection to an original story but you're going to be adding your own elements (all of which sound like they're going to be super interesting by the way). I'll be honest I'm not super familiar with the original version of the little mermaid aside from the morbid ending, so I'm not sure just how much your version as told in the intro deviates from the original. However, I like the twist where she's an assassin, rather than being a helpless princess it makes for an awesome heroine! I thought adding a weakness was a good idea too, it reminds me of some sort of alternate universe where maybe all the mythical creatures are related by some sort of common gene or ancestor? I don't know, that was a very incomplete thought, I think it's fun to play around with the backstory and I think yours is the perfect opportunity to do that too!

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  6. Hi, Rachel. Great job on your introduction. It seems like you're really excited to tell this story. I think it is awesome that you are so well informed about the source material you are using as inspiration and guidance.

    Your story sounds really interesting. It's definitely an interesting twist on the classic tale. I hope we get an explanation in story as to why Serene thinks she is allergic to salt water. That's seems like a really strange thing to assume. Has she transformed before? I also can not wait to learn how she became this famed assassin. Fisherman's daughter turned assassin is a story in and of itself. It only gets cooler when you add in the mermaid stuff.

    As always, a quick readthrough of your introduction to tighten up your writing and fix any small errors is a good idea. I could be wrong, but I feel like there was a word or two missing from a couple sentences. Overall, great job.

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  7. Hi Rachel! The name of your project really stuck out to me--it is so dark and mysterious! I liked the design of your website, including your homepage. I feel as though it gave a concise, but clear description of what to expect in the project. The introduction does of fantastic job of zooming out and explaining what the general idea of your story will be. It sounded great so far--definitely something that I would be interested in continuing to read more about! I would have never thought that the little mermaid would have it in her to be a secret assassin! But it's a great concept. It's also neat to show the origin of "the little mermaid." I am really excited for your chapter 1--I was hoping it was already ready! I am looking forward to checking back on your project further along in the semester! Keep up the great work!

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  8. Hi, Rachel!

    To start, I really love the layout of your storybook! I think the site is really accessible and pleasing to look at which I really appreciate. I really love your idea of recreating The Little Mermaid and making it very much your own! I really can't wait to see some stories! One thing I would suggest as you start adding pieces to your book is to name your chapters. I think this makes it more enticing for readers and it's a great way to show off your writing skills- I always love a fun and creative title!

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